The facts are scary. A 2011 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health reported some shocking realities for parents: 1 in 9 children attempt suicide before their high school graduation. Of these attempts, 40% are made before reaching high school.
This alarming news highlights that now, more than ever, is the time to teach resilience to our children. The feelings of worthlessness that can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts are best fought with true accomplishment; and that only comes from hard work and setting goals. You’ve encouraged your kids to set their sights on the stars. Now how do you help them develop the attitude that will take them from “I can’t do it” to “How can I do it?”?
Building Resilience | Believe in Them: Tried and true for a reason, believing in one’s self is one of the strongest powers the world knows. Kids can’t develop this kind of confidence if they don’t know that there are people who love and believe in them,no matter what. Believe fully in your child, and remind them frequently how much you believe in them. Help them understand that the power to do comes from within them and that they have capabilities beyond their wildest imagination.
Building Resilience | Make a Plan Together: Things that seem unattainable are simply goals that are very far away. Every marathon requires a first step. Sit down with your child and discuss what a good plan of attack is for their goal; what is a feasible way to get this done? Can you break it into chunks to help speed the task along? What kind of support does your child need to succeed, and where can they get this support? Write the plan down, and put it somewhere you can both look at whenever you need a reminder.
Building Resilience | Make Micro-Goals: When you’re trying to achieve something big, it can be difficult to stay motivated. One great way to do so is to set micro-goals; milestones you meet along the way. Each micro-goal should be accompanied by a celebration. Decide with your child what will suit the occasion: a trip to the ice cream parlor? A chance to pick what’s on the dinner menu? Visiting a favorite place together? This way, your child can feel satisfaction that they are on the right track towards achieving the big things they have their sights set on.
Building Resilience | Make a List: Part of planning should be setting the plan out in black and white. As you do so, include a “task list” that your child needs to accomplish in order to fulfill the plan. The task list can include micro-goals, but should be made up of mostly simpler tasks that need to be completed in order to achieve their goal. Then, as your child completes tasks, have them check items off the list. Seeing that they have done something in a span of time is a great way to reinforce that they are effective and capable.
Heading off the negative feelings that can lead to depression is a proactive way to tackle the issue of adolescent suicide. Setting concrete goals (and teaching your child to achieve them) will always pay off; in the short term and the long.
